Unlike what many teachers will tell you, there is something far more important than self-love on your journey of mindfulness, spirituality and consciousness. Loving yourself is a far deeper concept than spending time looking in the mirror and stating affirmations. The greatest advice people give, yet is the least taken is “just be yourself and do what you love”. Where most people fail in loving themselves is confusing loving who you think you NEED to be, not who you truly are. So who are you truly?


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Episode Transcript:

Hello and welcome people of the universe. Today I’m continuing with my series on the Misinterpretations of Spirituality. And today I want to talk about one of the greatest misinterpretations I find, and that is — Do I need to love myself in order to be spiritual, in order to be conscious in order to be mindful?

Hi, this is Amir Zoghi, speaker, coach and aerobatic pilot. I’m on a mission to inspire, move, and transform people’s lives. This is the wisdom, truth and freedom podcast where I share mind-blowing insights about spirituality, self-actualization, and transcending those limiting mindsets in order to live in an unlimited lifestyle and to make it dent in the universe.

Do I need to love myself in order to be spiritual or even in order to be happy? Alright, I’m only imagining that you’re saying, “well, yes you do”. You do need to love yourself and I’m not here to argue with that, but I want to talk about that. There is a misinterpretation in that because most people’s idea of loving themselves is to sit in front of the mirror and look at the person they see, looking back at them and say to that person, I love you. I love you just the way you are. And to me that right there is the misinterpretation — I feel like it’s really the kindergarten version of loving yourself because I think there’s something far more important to do here to love yourself. I know you probably think yourself, “what’s more important than loving yourself?”

You know, that’s probably the most important thing that you can do. I think there’s something far more important and to tell you what that is, I want to share with you a story. And the story is really about, probably the greatest advice ever shared with people. I mean, it doesn’t matter what culture you’re from generally, you know …what language you speak. Usually if someone truly cares for you and you’re asking them for advice about, you know, and I mean that this person’s got no agenda for you, they truly care for you… and you have asked advice about whatever it is in your life. They usually say one of two things. They’ll say, “Hey, just just be yourself and just do what makes you happy”. Like, have you not heard that phrase before?

Seriously, or have you even given that advice? It’s probably… That advice…And I’m just making this up, I don’t have a hard fact around that… But I reckon that advice is shared and given with people more than any other advice. Just, “Hey, just be yourself and just do what you love or just do what makes you happy”. And think about it… Think about that, the times that you’ve given that advice. Yet, I will say that that is the advice the least taken because it is so difficult, right? And it isn’t difficult, but people make it difficult in being themselves. Now you may think to yourself, “no, well, no, no, no, I am. I’m being myself. I am”. But this is where, this is what, I’m here to challenge. Because the thing is, when you are being yourself, you’re being who you love to be, not who you need to be.

Right? And, and in a previous podcasts I did refer to this about there’s a difference between showing up and being who you love rather than being who you need to be. You see, when you are showing up with who you love, you know, and the only way when I say who you love, we’re really saying is when you’re showing up as yourself, as yourself, because your true essence is love. And if you had the courage and the willingness to show up as you, you will show up as love. So then my question to you is why would love need to love itself? Let’s just park that for a sec. Just the little…park that, and we’ll come back to that in a second. I think more importantly, what we need to distinguish here is you know the idea of what is being yourself. Or when I said to you, are you being who you love to be or who you need to be?

I want to talk to you about who you need to be because most people think to themselves, who when I say, Hey, be yourself or whether they think to themselves, I am being myself. They confuse…and the misinterpretation here is they confuse being themselves with who they need to be right now. What is it that you need to be? People need to be a certain way, do things in a certain way in order to be accepted, in order to be loved, in order to be appreciated in order to be recognized and have recognition. You see, that’s not yourself. That’s not who you are. That’s who you are being in order to be loved because when you are getting accepted, when you’re getting approved, when people are recognizing you, you’re being, you feel loved. So when you fall into that category of doing things because you need to or being who you are because you need to, you’re not being yourself, right? I say that this advice is the greatest advice given. The reason why it’s the least taken is because most people confuse who they need to be with actually who they are.

If you had the ability, the courage to be yourself, you experience this, you experience the love that comes with who you are, okay? So this episode really is about recognizing who you are. It’s about realizing who is this person that is showing up in their everyday life. To answer this question, do I need to love myself in order to be spiritual? You only need to love yourself when you’re not showing up as yourself. When you show up as yourself, you show up with love. Love doesn’t need to love itself. Love. If you’re showing up as love, you don’t need to sit in front of the mirror and tell yourself that you love yourself.

The part of you that is showing up, showing up the way it thinks it needs to show up is showing up to be loved. Therefore, that part of you is the part that needs to sit in front of the mirror and go, “I love myself, I love myself”. I’m not saying that it’s not important to love yourself. I’m just saying to you, you only need to love yourself when you’re showing up as a person that you think needs to show up that way. If you show up as who you really are, you show up with love and therefore you don’t need to love yourself. In fact, you have so much love to give at that point. And that is when you have the power to be able to do what makes you happy, to do what is important for you, to do what you love. So I think a more powerful question here is, so who am I really? How do I want to show up? Give yourself the permission and the courage to be yourself. Even if it means you’re going to get rejected, even if it means you’re going to be maybe not accepted, even if it means that people may not approve of you, even if it means it, maybe, make you feel unsafe or insecure, because that is the power when you are being yourself.

Thanks for joining me on this episode. See you next time.

So if you felt something from what I’ve shared and you want to have a deeper connection, an understanding and awareness of who you truly are, I really suggest that you head on over to my website and actually receive my gift to you, my WTF?! Experience. This entire program is dedicated for you to have a direct experience of your greater infinite self. So just head on over to my website at www.amirzoghi.com/wtf


What did you think of this episode? If you’d like to dive deeper on learning how you can finally stop trying to fix, improve or change things in your life, watch The WTF?! Experience, my transformational foundation program. It’s free right now and streaming online. Click here to get your access.

Amir Zoghi