The WTF Podcast – Episode 12: Do you need to be giving in order to be spiritual?

Hi, this is Amir Zoghi – speaker, coach and aerobatic pilot. I’m on a mission to inspire, move and transform people’s lives. This is the Wisdom, Truth and Freedom podcast where I share mind-blowing insights about spirituality, self-actualization, and transcending those limiting mindsets in order to live an unlimited lifestyle and to make a dent in the universe.

In many teachings, they teach you that you need to focus on giving and focus on the service. You know, maybe not on the outcome or result, but focus on the service. So it sounds plausible or not, I’m not saying I disagree with it. But there is a difference between focusing on the service, like really authentically, like you are focusing on the service because you have so much to give. If you’re coming from a very deep place within yourself. You find that there is a fullness about you. You feel, you feel like you want… there’s a feeling that you want to bring out into the world. So it’s almost like you want to share of yourself, because you feel very fulfilled. Okay? So the thing is, when people are focusing on the giving but that don’t feel full, this is where the misinterpretation can lie.

The challenge is, some people are wanting to be spiritual, wanting to be loving with the agenda to be loved back. So in other words, there’s a very big difference when you’re actually wanting to give something. And you’re focusing on the service but really like behind the scenes, behind your thinking…there is a drive in order to be loved back. And you know when that is the case because when you are giving something or sharing something of yourself, you are looking for what you’re getting back from the individual or from the people or the community or whatever it is that you’re playing with. You’re looking for a recognition or an acceptance and approval. You’re looking for love back. If you’re giving love, you know how many times have you given something to someone and then you’re like, “You know what?

They don’t appreciate it and you know I’m getting nothing back”. I get it. I get it. Of course, you know you’re giving something to someone and they’re not recognizing or not valuing what you’ve got to give. Well of course you’re not going to give it to them. I understand that. But what I’m trying to say to you is that when you’re actually giving, because it’s true for you — this is the difference, when it’s true for you — you’re giving because you have so much to give. Your intention was never to receive anything back. In fact, when you’re giving from that true space because you have so much to give, you actually giving to yourself from yourself, within yourself. The moment you give that, the moment that energy that you’re giving, whatever it is that you’re giving, the moment that energy moves through you, you are experiencing the appreciation.

You experiencing that love from yourself within yourself as it moves through you as it moves you. You experience that and I don’t know if you gathering what I’m saying, but there is a joy and you’re not looking for how that is landing, how it’s being received. You’re not looking at whether they’ve accepted what you’ve given them and nor are you looking at how they are going to give that back to you. Are they going to reciprocate and they’re going to give me that love that I just gave them? That attention, that that energy, whatever it is that you’ve given… Did they recognize what I just gave to them? You see, if your looking for what you’re receiving back, then please understand your doing that with the agenda to be loved back and everything we do, we’re looking to be loved back.

It’s normal. So let’s not get disappointed by the things that we’re doing and we’re looking for for love back. It’s a normal thing until you find that deeper love within yourself from yourself. And I always like to use the word “”it feels true for you because when something feels true for you, you’re doing it for you. Do you understand now in the story it may come across that you’re helping someone in the story, it might come across that you are a loving person. But the truth is you’re doing it because it feels true for you. And when you’re doing something because it feels true for you, you’re not looking for something back. Look at the person who runs into that burning house. You know this hero, jumps in, you know how many stories have you seen that? He jumps into a burning house?

They don’t even think about it and they go and save someone. And someone wants to thank them, tell them that their hero and that it’s almost like the recognition is like, okay, that’s, that’s, but I was just doing what I felt to do. They will say that. I didn’t think about it. I’m not a hero. People would say I’m not a hero. I was just doing what I felt to do. So in other words, they didn’t run into the burning house with the idea that, Hey, if I run into the burning house here and I go save that grandma, or that’s children or the family that are in there, then I could be a hero and therefore I could get recognition and acceptance and approval. You see, that’s not what they ran into the house for. And that’s why they don’t, they’re not really, you know, I mean, sure you might say they’re a hero, but whether you call them a hero or not, it didn’t make a difference because they were only doing it because they felt to.

And that’s the difference. When you’re doing what’s really true for you, you have something to give. But the thing is you’ve got to understand when you do what’s true for you, you impact others to experience what’s true for them. It’s like a ripple effect, okay? And you’ve heard me talk about this many times, love doesn’t have an agenda. If you’re doing something with the agenda to be loved back, that’s the small part of you that’s coming up. That has an agenda and that’s not really love. Your doing or focusing on the service in order to be loved back, in order to make more money, in order to get recognition. That aint it. And you will be disappointed, guaranteed. I see it all the time. You will be disappointed. It’s like a slap in the face and then you go, “well I did this for them, I did this for them and they didn’t appreciate me”.

No, no, no. Let’s be honest and it’s time for you to be honest with yourself. You did that for yourself. You did that for yourself in order for them to love you, in order for them to recognize you, in order for you to make money. Depending on whatever it is that you were doing. However, when you are doing what’s true for you, here’s the thing… It impacts people like a ripple. You chuck a rock into a calm pond, it creates a ripple. It impacts them by them experiencing what’s true for them. Then you think to yourself, well, what’s true for them is a lovely thing. Maybe. It’s not up to you how it lands, nor should you be concerned, or would you be concerned about how what you’re doing is landing or being received by others. Because some people may receive that as a negative response.

Some people will receive it as a positive response. Depending on what’s true for them to experience in their lives right now. So this is why I always say when you do what’s true for you, you allow those or you impact those around you to experience what’s true for them. But what’s true for them in their interpretation could be a positive experience. It could be a negative. It’s none of your business. And that’s the thing when you are doing what’s true for you… I remember when I was speaking a few years ago, I went through a period where I was doing my programs for free and uh, I really felt to do it and I would just, you know, people would pay what they felt and I had to address the crowd because after the crowd I would get lot of people expressing a lot of appreciation, which is really nice.

And they said to me things like, you’re an amazing person to do this, you know. And they were putting me on a pedestal, which I didn’t like. And I know it’s quite dangerous for people to do that because if they put you up on the pedestal, they ended up putting you in the pit. That’s what happens. So when I saw this and people were giving me credit, you know? Then what, you know, they were crediting me for what I was doing because I was doing my programs for free. You could pay what you feel. I would get up on stage and say, “Hey, let me make this very clear. I’m not here for you. I’m here because this feels true for me. I’m doing this and I’m sharing this with you and I know it will impact you and some of you will love me.

Some of you may hate me, but that’s your business. I’m doing this because it feels true for me and when I do what’s true for me, I feel wonderful. I feel joy, I feel love. I feel free. So to be completely honest with you, I’m doing this for me because it feels true for me. Yet I could give you the spiritual answer until you, I’m doing this for you and I’m here for you and this is about you, but it’s not. I don’t want to give you the spiritual answer. I want to give you the truthful answer. When I do what’s true for me, it will impact those around me and you as my audience are those around me. Now, whether you perceived that positive or negative, that’s entirely up to you.” So there’s a power in that. That’s the truth. Being completely honest.

Even right now I’m sharing this message with you. It feels true for me to share this message. It feels true. When I do, I feel free. I feel like I’m flying. My soul is flying right now by me sharing this with you. But how you receive this, how you interpret this, how you put this, how it lands with you, whether it’s being accepted or rejected by — that’s your business. That’s not my business. That’s your process. My process is to share this and experience the joy, the love, that I feel by sharing it. And that’s a great power, if you can not get distracted, if I can not get distracted by thinking “Well how are they receiving this?” That’s besides the point. So do you focus on the service and giving up? Because there is, it’s, it’s the thing is when you are doing what’s true for you and you are, you are naturally impacting people by giving the, an experience by you know, sharing what feels true for you.

But the thing is the person who’s doing what’s true for them, if they are impacting people and it is coming across that they are loving and they are giving of service and they are moving and inspiring people, that person is doing it because it’s true for them. And if they’re not. If they’re doing it with the agenda of being accepted, of being loved back, well then that’s when something is not true for you. And that’s when you are guaranteed to be disappointed. But when I would stand up and speak in front of an audience, and I still do this, if that, if an opportunity comes up and I’m speaking in an audience…most people will say, focus on the audience. Focus on what you’re there to give to them.

Right? I don’t focus on the audience because when I focuse on the audience, I get nervous. Because I’m now thinking “Are they going to reject what I’m gonna say? Are they gonna accept what I’m going to say? Would I fit in? Do they fit?” You know, there’s all these things that will come up and then you get these nerves. I don’t get nervous when I get up on stage and the reason I don’t get nervous is because I’m not focused on the audience. I’m focused not on myself, but on the feeling that is arising through myself. I connect to the moment and go connect to the feeling and go, “Oh, what is there to be said here? “That’s why I never plan my talks. That’s why what I’m sharing with you right now is completely unplanned. I know the topic, I know what I want to share.

I want to on a parameter of what this conversation is about, but I have no idea what I want to share with you because I want it to come from my feeling. I don’t want it to come from my thinking. It’s very different. So I would then connect with my feeling and I would share what needs to be shared and us promise you. If you looked at it, you think to yourself, wow, he is really about the people because he’s focused on the people and he’s listening to the audience. And what they need to hear because it matches who I’m doing what feels true for me. It seems it seems to land. But I didn’t do that. I didn’t say what I said for it to land. I mean, I went once, and I won’t mention which a speaker this was for, but this is when I was early days and I was in America speaking, I think it was San Diego somewhere.

And I was speaking for a…I was invited to speak for this speaker guru if you like. And he had a meditation bootcamp and everybody was there meditating and they asked me to come speak and I went there to speak. And I spoke what was true for me and I said to them, I don’t meditate. It’s not the path I took to get to where I’m at, which shows you you don’t have to meditate. Right? Like, if I was reading the audience, I would have said something very different than you think. But I was reading my feeling. My feeling was that, Hey, (and you know, maybe I’ll do a podcast about this. This will probably be another misinterpretation of spirituality.) Is there one way to become conscious? Is there one way to be spiritual? Do you have to meditate? My point there is that no matter what, I will connect to my feeling.

My attention is on my feeling, not on myself. Because when your attention is on yourself, it’s on how yourself is going to be received. That’s different. That’s not what I’m saying. My attention is on my feeling. When your attention is on yourself, people will say you are selfish, but when your attention is on the feeling, people will say, you are selfless. Very different. My attention is on the feeling, the feeling that is there to move me, the feeling that is there to speak through me. That’s where the power in this conversation is about. So do you need to focus on the service and giving? No. You need to focus on your feeling. You need to focus on yourself. There’s great power in that and when you do that, people will probably say, you are very focused on the service and giving that you know the truth. That’s our podcast for today. I’ll see you next time.