One of the common philosophies in the spiritual industry is the importance of being detached.
The concept of being detached is often misinterpreted. Whether it be related to your emotions, your circumstances or the results and outcomes you are after in your life – it’s unlikely you are fully detached, no matter how much you try to be.
In this episode, I share the role outcomes and results have in your life and where you should focus instead of simply trying to be detached from them.
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Episode Transcript:
Hello and welcome people of the universe. Today I’m continuing with my series on the misinterpretations of spirituality.
When I was a young adult, I started to build my business. I was climbing this corporate ladder… because you want to rise above. You work hard and rise above. What put me on the path of spirituality was that I realized that no matter how much success I gained in my corporate world, it still left me empty and something was not being fulfilled. There was still something missing. Something still was not whole and something was still not complete.
That was what first got me onto the path of spirituality. I was like, I’ve got to find more meaning and purpose in myself, not in what I do. I need to find myself. I went on this sabbatical, I did nothing for a good 12 months, watched my money dropped down and didn’t have a care in the world because I wanted to find myself, if you like.
As I was doing that, I was hanging around with a lot of other people who were being spiritual. I would even go to meditation retreats. Along my journey I would find people being on this spiritual path, but it reminded me of when I was on the corporate ladder trying to climb the corporate world. It gave me the same sense, the same feeling. I was like, “Holy [inaudible 00:00:02:00], some of these people who are on this spiritual path, they’ve changed, they’ve converted. They’ve put down their spiritual… because a lot of them came from the corporate world. They’re no longer climbing the corporate ladder, but now they’ve created the same ladder in the spiritual world by climbing the spiritual ladder. It was all about becoming more spiritual, more Zen, less reactive and less detached than the other person. It became another ladder.
You were just trying to become more spiritual than the other person and you would put the other person down by the advice that you would give to them, which make the other person think that, “Oh wow, you are higher and spiritual.” Of course, that is not always the case, but it brings me to what I really want to talk to you about today. The misinterpretations of being detached because that is one of the biggest things that you… In the spiritual box, one of the things that you want to be is detached.
In a previous episode, I talked about being Zen. Well, yes, being Zen was one of the things that one of them is to be detached. You hear a lot. Being in the spiritual world, one of the common lingo that you hear is someone going, “I’m not attached with the outcome. I’m not attached with that.” This is one of the greatest misinterpretations. Just because you say you are detached, you are not attached, it doesn’t mean you are detached. It doesn’t mean you’re not attached. So that is the misinterpretation.
Of course, someone may say that they’re detached and they’ve truly are, but I usually find someone who is detached doesn’t continue saying that they’re detached. That’s a little bit of a warning bell. Of course, this is not always the case for everybody. You might be having a conversation with someone and they’ll just say, “Look, I’m not detached with that. I’m not, I’m not attached to that.” That may be the case. But a lot of times, being in the spiritual world and in the spiritual community, it’s the thing to say because if you are attached, it means you’re not spiritual. To be spiritual you must be detached. So people will say, “I’m detached. I’m not attached to that.” That’s what I’m talking about. There’s a large portion of that. The misinterpretation here is just because you’re saying you’re not attached, it doesn’t mean you’re not attached.
What I want to talk to you about is a process that I experienced in my life and I see in others when they are truly not attached. Okay?
There is only way one way for you to know that you are not attached. It’s quite simple. Your attention is not on the outcome or result. Because anytime your attention is on the outcome or result, I’m sorry, you are attached. You got to be truthful with yourself. If someone’s attention is not on the outcome and result then I would believe that you’re not attached.
I can only talk about myself. When my attention is not on the outcome or result, I feel detachment. The real question here is if your attention is not on the outcome and result then where is it on? Pause for a sec, because that’s a question I’m asking you. If your attention is not on the outcome and result, where is your attention on?
It’s on the process. It’s on this moment. Don’t get me wrong. Outcome and results are important. Again, one of the spiritual misinterpretations is for people to go, “I don’t care about the outcome or results.” Again, just because you’re saying that, does it really mean you don’t care about the outcome or result? I will believe you if I know your attention is on the process.
I would know that your attention is on the process when I know you’re completely here. You are enrolled in your process. You’re enrolled in what’s coming up now. You’re enrolled in this moment, in the present moment, in the now. You’re enrolled in how you feel in this present moment. You’ve enrolled in the emotions that may arise in this present moment. You’re not suppressing those emotions.
For me, in all my teachings, everything that I share, I always continuously say to people, it’s not about the outcome or result. Yes, the outcome and result sets your direction that you’re traveling through. The outcome and result sets your path.
You got to understand the outcome and result has a role that it plays within your journey. So you can’t say, “I don’t care about the outcome or result. When someone says, I don’t care about their outcome, results, sometimes, they’re saying that because they don’t even have an outcome and result. They don’t even have a direction. Because it’s super spiritual to sometimes feel like you have no direction. You know what? It’s okay to be spiritual and have direction. As long as you can stay with the process.
I can only only speak truthfully for myself. I’ve used reference points of people that I’ve had relationships with or people that I’ve had experiences along my journey, but ultimately for me an outcome or result is… I’m doing this podcast with you right now. There is an outcome, result. You can’t say, “We’ll just see what happened.” No, we are doing a podcast right now. I am sharing a subject with you right now and it’s around detachment and spirituality.
That is clear. That is a direction. The moment I am clear about my outcome and results, I am clear about the direction I’m going, but how I get there is none of my concern. How I get there is none of my business. You see, that’s when I’m in my process. I have an outcome and result. I then let go of that outcome and result, and I’m in my process. I’m here. I’m in these words that I’m sharing with you. I have no idea what I’m going to share with you around this topic until I just start with, “Hello and welcome people of the universe.” Then I just start talking.
I’m just starting to talk right now and until I finish my sentence now, I don’t know what the next sentence is going to be. I’m in my process. I’m in my moments. That’s when you feel a complete freedom and a sense of detachment. Yes. Detachment is important. Yes, if you want to be spiritual, conscious or mindful, you want to be experiencing detachment. Yes, if you want to experience joy. Yes, if you want to express yourself. Yes, if you want to experience freedom, you want to be detached.
But you can’t make yourself feel detached. You can’t by simply saying, “I’m not attached” or simply not putting your attention on the outcome or result. You put your attention on the outcome, result and then come back here and you stay in your process. You have a willingness and the ability to be here in the process and you do your work in the process. You don’t do the work for the outcome and results.
The outcome and results, it’s something that takes care of itself. You know what? The funny thing is usually someone’s interested in the outcome and results, if you be honest with yourself, because you’re after a feeling. A feeling of completion. A feeling of fulfillment. A feeling of love. Every outcome and result people are after different feelings.
That’s why people place their attention on the outcome and that’s what creates an attachment. But the thing is, when you have an outcome or result, it sets the direction and you come back here and you are in your process. That very feeling that you’re looking for in your outcome and result, you have it right here. That is the crazy thing here. People are looking for the outcome, result because of the feeling it gives them. But if you’re right here, yes, that is an outcome or result that is important for my life. Yes it is. But if I’m here, the feeling that arises within me, I’m experiencing that right now.
This example I’m giving to you right now. I am recording this podcast with you. There is a feeling that I will have when I complete this podcast. The thing is, because I’m in my process, I’m having that feeling right now. I am enthused and feeling alive right now and I haven’t got to that outcome result. The thing is, that’s the reason you’re not attached because you are now getting this feeling that you thought you’re going to get in the outcome and result.
You’re now getting this feeling here in this moment, because you’re here in the moment, because you are enjoying this process. You are in the moment, in the journey and you’re getting this feeling. So if you’re getting this feeling right now, it makes sense that you are no longer attached to the outcome and results because you’re no longer looking unconsciously. You’re now going, “I don’t need that outcome and result too eventuate because the feeling that I was after in that outcome and result, I have right here.
That’s my message for today. See you next time.
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