The WTF Podcast – Episode 8: Are you choosing what you love?

Hi, this is Amir Zoghi speaker, coach and aerobatic pilot. I’m on a mission to inspire, move, and transform people’s lives. This is the Wisdom, Truth and Freedom Podcast where I share mind-blowing insights about spirituality, self-actualization, and transcending those limiting mindsets in order to live in unlimited lifestyle and to make it dent in the universe.

Now stay with me for a sec because this is a… I mean, your immediate response will be, “well, of course I’m choosing what I love”, right? I mean, this is my choice. It’s my choice. It’s a choice that I’m making, so therefore I’m choosing what I love. So I want to challenge that. Because…and immediately you’re probably thinking, “well, what are you going to challenge it with? Who else is choosing it?” Yeah, let’s, let’s have a deeper conversation around this conversation around love. And we’re speaking a lot about this topic of love, you know, doing what you love and you know, being who you love…all the amazing things we’ve spoken about so far. But the question here is when you’ve decided to do what it is that you love to do… Like let me give you an example.

For many of you, you know, I’m an aerobatic pilot. I have an aviation business and I take people up for aerobatic flights. And if I look back in my life and, and if somebody was interviewing me, say, “Hey Amir, you know, when did you decide that you were passionate about aviation?” The truth is I didn’t decide that I was passionate about aviation. I only realized I was passionate about aviation. Now you’ve got to stay with me here because this happens so quickly in your mind. Because when you are reflecting back at the choices that you’ve made around the things that you love, and not even the things that you love, but the people that you love, right? Immediately. There is a part of your mind that kicks in and goes, “well, yes, of course, I decided that”. It takes claim that it decided that. But to give you my story, I remember when I was around five years of age and my father used to work at the airport and one day he took me at the airport and, he took me at the end of the runway and I was watching aircrafts take off.

I’ll never forget this moment. And usually you remember moments like this. This aircraft took off and he was showing me the undercarriage going up. And right there I realized I was passionate about aviation. You see, I didn’t decide that I am passionate about aviation. I realized that. Again, I’ll say, stay with me for a sec. Don’t jump the gun yet. Right.

You go towards…look at your life and look at the people you love. You know, maybe you have kids. Okay, tell me about your decision about loving your kids. Maybe you don’t have kids. Maybe you got a pet or maybe you have someone you love. Okay, tell me about your decision that you made around loving that person. Okay, now you’ve gotta be really honest with yourself. You gotta be so alert, so present. You’ve got to slow down and go back to the moment that you perceive…and this is the misinterpretation. I’ll say it straight out right now. The misinterpretation is that you think that you decided that you love that person. You think that you decided that you love to do that thing, that you believe you love. You didn’t. You only realized it. You realized that you love that person.

Now, come on. You know, if you think that you decided that you love that person, let’s look at your partner. Maybe, if you’ve got a partner right now, you say, I love that person. I am in control of deciding that I chose that I loved them. If you decided that you loved them, then you decided with reason because a true love isn’t decided, is only realized. You realize you loved that person. If you’re looking for reasons, you might find reasons of why you don’t love them too. You know, you started to think…”Oh yeah”, for example, you think, “Oh well they’re just, they’re funny and you know, they, they make me laugh and they make me feel warm and they make me feel secure”. You know, these are things that you logically look for to justify why you love them.

This happens so quickly. I’m telling you, you need to be so alert to actually realize this. You realize that you love someone, then you will look for why you love them and you will find, Oh they’re warm, they’re funny, they make me safe, they make me secure. Okay. That’s the process that is taking place and nobody can tell you that’s true except for you. I’m telling you, because I studied myself, I observed these things and this has been my realization. This is a conclusion that I’ve come to. Okay, I’m not telling you that this is the way it is. I’m telling you it is for me. What you need to do is actually observe your process. Go back to the times where you perceive you made decisions around the things that you love or the people that you love.

And you tell me, did you realize you just loved them? And this, there’s a difference between making a decision and realizing. Realizing, is the answer is already there, the decision is already made. You didn’t make a decision. The answer is already there. The decisions already made. Okay? That’s when it’s true love. And I’ll tell you something. There’s a part of you that is infinite, right? And the part of you that is infinite, if it was to make a decision, there’s only one decision and the decision would already be made. That might be a little bit over your head right now. Because you think to yourself, what the hell are you talking about? Well, infinite means there’s only one. Infinite means, there was no two decisions to make in the first place. So infinite means if there’s only one, the decision was already made. And when you’re experiencing that moment where you realize you love someone or you realize that you love something and you didn’t even make a decision, that is a part of you,

that is the process that I’m talking about. When the infinite part of you is making a decision. And again, it’s hard to put that into words because the infinite part of you made a decision. Yes, but the decision was already made, right? Because there’s only one decision. I’m kind of a feeling a little bit like maybe I shouldn’t have thrown that in there because it’s a little bit deeper. You know, those are the things that I talk about in my OMG program. I talk about more deepe,r fundamental concepts of some of the things that I’ve just shared with you right there. But I guess I’m sharing it with you anyway. If it lands for you, it lands for you. And if it doesn’t, just go back to the example I just gave you.

Go back into your life and just look at the times that you’ve made decisions. I’ll give you another example. I just shared with you my story of when I was four or five years old and I was at the airport watching the planes…you think to yourself, “Well Amir, that’s the moment you decided, that’s the moment you decided that you love aviation. You made a decision as a four or five year old that you are passionate about aviation.” Well, is it? Because you know that’s what you do. You look for the moments where you made the decision. But I’m telling you, that was the moment I realized I love aviation, right? Because I could tell you a story about my mom sending me to piano lessons for example, right? And I went and played piano, right? But I didn’t continue with the piano.

I didn’t find a passion for piano. So do you know what I mean? I could give you another story because most people look at, well, the moment in the story where you decided that. Why didn’t I take up piano? Right? And you think to yourself, “well, because you decided you didn’t like it”. There was nothing there for me. Do you understand?Again, it’s a very fine line with with what I’m talking about because you have to be, you have to slow your thinking down. You have to slow your awareness down, you have to slow your whole being down to be able to capture this process. And you can even capture it as it’s happening and even capture it when it’s happened. Just go back into your stories and look at the moments.

Okay. My favorite one is to talk about a kids. You know I’m a father of two, I have Olivia who’s now eight months old and Orlando who is three years and one month. Right? I can’t tell you, as a parent, I can’t tell you like…if I said to you, “I decided to love my kids”, then what I’m saying to you is “I love them because they are good or the behave”. These are all reasons. There are no reasons. The love for your child is realized. The love for your child is experienced. The love for your child is what you have. You didn’t decide that. I didn’t decide that. All right. I just realized that that love for them is there. So then the question really is, “are you choosing what you love or are you realizing it?” If you’re choosing what you love, it’s potentially not what you really love.

You know when it’s love, because it taps you on the shoulder. You know when it’s love, because it comes through you. You don’t need to chase it. One of my favorite quotes is that love is something that finds you. It’s not something that you find. The person that you fell in love with…alright, you might’ve been looking for love, right? But really when you found them was when you weren’t looking for it anymore. Yeah, in the back of the mind, you’re thinking maybe, you know, one day I want to settle down. But the way it happened is not the way you planned it for it to happen. Right? The way you thought it was going to be was not the way it was going to be. The way it came together. It was not something that tapped you on the shoulder.

Right? And it was like bang, there it is. There’s this person I love. And if you look for the reasons of why you love them, you may actually find reasons why you don’t as well. I don’t like this about them, I don’t like that. Or they do fart a lot. And do you know what I mean? If you’re looking for the reasons of why you love them, you also find reasons why you don’t. Okay? When it comes to love, you realize it. When it comes to loving someone, you realize it. Okay. If you need to make a decision to love someone, it’s a love that has an agenda because your looking for reasons. And again, like I’ve always said, love doesn’t have reasons. So if you’re looking for reasons, then that’s not love. Right? Love is already there.

Love is already realized. It’s already, you’re already experiencing it. Don’t get me wrong. It doesn’t mean suddenly you don’t have to still work in the relationship. Of course. Right? But the love is there. The bond, the connection. It’s there. The bond and connection with your children or your pets or whatever you have, is there. You still need to discipline your pets. You still need to raise your children, and there’ll be some difficult times as a parent, raise your child. But the love is there. You don’t need to build the love, right? And it was always there the moment you realized it was there. You didn’t decide, “I’m going to love my child”. The love is there. You’re not deciding “I’m going to love my partner”. Okay? Again, don’t confuse difficulties in a relationship where you need to work on a relationship. But the love is not something you need to work on.

It’s already there. If it’s something that you needed to decide on, “I’m going to decide to love my partner” Again, like I just said to you again, I won’t repeat myself again. Right? That’s a reason, you’re looking for a reason. So are you choosing what you love or realizing it? If you look at the most powerful things that you love, the most important things that you love, whether it comes to the things you love in your life, the things you do that you love in life, the people that you love in your life, those things were realized. So stop trying to work out what you love. Here we are, so many people, are trying to work out, “Who am I going to love? What is it that I love to do?” It will find you. Love will be realized. It’s not something you choose, right? It is chosen. It is chosen by you, but not the small you. A much grander and infinite part of you.