Conscious parenting is not about raising your children consciously, it’s about you being conscious, it’s about yourself.
One of the most beautiful things about having children is that children come into our lives to complete us. They reflect the part of ourselves that we disown, they reflect the part of ourselves that we are in judgement of, and they reflect the parts of ourselves that are beautiful and fully complete.
Children play a very important role for us, as we do for them. But raising your children consciously has more to do with you being conscious, then doing what you think you need to do to make them conscious.
I have a mother that I consider very conscious. When I was growing up, friends would call her “the oracle” as a joke because she was the wise one. I watched my mother raise five very different children. The most powerful gift that she gave to us, was her acceptance of each of us as individuals. I felt accepted. The role I played, what I came here to do, what my sister and brothers came here to do, she accepted them fully. The roles we played, our personalities, our dreams were all very different. But she accepted each of us as individuals.
My mother taught me that life and our family is like an orchestra. Every single child, every single member of the family are playing their own instrument. Every instrument sounds different. The piano is not meant to sound the same as the saxophone. The drum is not meant to sound the same as the piano. But we’re all playing one song.
Acceptance is not just accepting your child for who they are, what they’ve done and what they’re ambitions are. It’s more about accepting how you feel about them. About the role they’re playing, about their gifts, the attributes, their downfalls. It’s about accepting how you feel about all of it.
You may feel you accept yourself for who they are, but what’s more powerful is accepting how you FEEL in the role and the personality that your children are playing for you in your life. If you can accept how you feel, you’ll realize that your child is here to complete you. Not in them, but in yourself. Your child is showing you a piece of yourself, for you to complete yourself.
Most parents place expectations on their children by wanting for their children what they want for them. But it’s not about wanting what you want for them. It’s about wanting what they want for themselves. That’s pure acceptance.
My mother raised me by guiding me, accepting and embracing the processes that I needed to go through. There was no judgement. Of course, like anyone, I had typical parents telling me I should and shouldn’t do things. But at the end of the day, when I would make my decisions, and they knew there was a pitfall at the end of my decisions, it was about being there for me, rather than changing my path. If that’s an experience I came here to have, they are there in acceptance to support that.
I hope I can be the parent that I’ve watched my mother be for me. I have two kids that are still young. I know I’m going to have a challenge ahead of me. But I know my children are here to play a role for me, as much, if not more, than I am here to play for them.
Sometimes when people are on the path of self-realization, they make it about other people or other things they need to do. But it’s actually about stopping the things you think you need to do. It’s about bringing yourself back to you. By far I’ve been impacted most by watching my mother walk her talk. Not telling me what she thinks is best for me based on her view. Accepting what I’m here to do and be, accepting what I’m here to experience.
Conscious parenting is not about you raising your children consciously, it’s about you being conscious. Be the example, walk the talk. When they’re ready, they will ask you.
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